JANMASHTAMI

          

It was one of those hot afternoons-the hot wind blowing outside with the sun beating down. I was forced to stay back at home.

          During summer months in Rajasthan, the temperature goes very high on almost all days. Besides the burning heat, there are frequent dust storms. I must have been around 5/6 years old and my mother was persuading me nay threatening me to go to sleep. This was the regular ritual during the summer afternoons, basically to prevent me from slipping out of the house to play with Narayani, who would be peeping out of her window to spot me and come out to join me. Narayani must be my age. She was the daughter of the caretaker of the Club across my house.  Also if I slept, my mother would catch a wink, after a hectic routine through the morning.

          It was in one of those forced confinements in the afternoons that I first noticed a Krishna painting hung high on the wall opposite my bed. Ma introduced me to Lord Krishna. She told me lots of tales of his adventures- his mischief making, his stealing butter, his outings with other boys to jungles with cows, his teasing of Gopis, his love for Radha and many many of his baal leelas.. I could sense a lot of appreciation for His antiques in her eyes and a body language of reverence. And I always wondered while Krishna was appreciated and admired for his acts, why was I taken to task for my kind of little pranks.. But then I was told that He was superhuman, omnipotent and omnipresent. He possessed supernatural powers. He could dance on the head of very dangerous Kalia the multi-headed snake in turbulent Yamuna, he could lift Govardhan Parvat on his small finger, he could slay deamons like Putna single handed, he could counter mama Kans’s evil moves and he could play flute with such ethereal notes that even animals would come and listen to his bansuri. And listening to all these stories I grew up in awe and admiration of Lord Krishna. It was much later when I became aware of Bhagwadgita and the wisdom of its verses to which my father introduced me.

          My mother, I remember, had  once told me that she had acquired that picture purposefully even before my birth and that while she was expecting me, she would spend long time gazing at the portrait  largely to ward off evil thoughts and images which would otherwise have an adverse effect on the child to be born. But even after 5/6years of my birth I found that portrait still upon the wall across my bed. I often wondered why that portrait was still on there when the stated intent and purpose was accomplished. For several years after that it remained there and soon it became part of the household. It did not bother me during my growing years and I stopped questioning its existence. I do not remember when it became a part of my being. Krishna becoming a member of the family! Gradually I had noticed that its colours had started fading, with the paper cracking at several places, the frame loosening and the hardboard backing going warp. This portrait must have been there for at least five decades now.

          And then one day it disappeared from its appointed place. As I returned home on vacation I noticed it was gone! I knew it had to go one day. It had perhaps lived its full life and left us leaving a void! It was difficult for a long time not to feel its presence at that appointed space. Intuitively one would look up to seek Krishna’s blessings when going out.

          In course of time, my mother passed away and then my father. While Lord Krishna continues to be omnipresent somewhere in the space of my imagination, it is difficult to assume that my parents are there with Him when only till the other day they were with me in flesh and blood.

         

Today I recall how we used to decorate a jhaanki in the house made with a card-board prison and a cradle that could swing and many other imaginative add-ons and then waiting, barely keeping our eyes open till midnight, which was the time for Krishna to be born. My mother would observe a fast through the day and would spend a lot of time in the kitchen preparing several dishes consisting of only fresh fruits and dry fruits especially transformed into amazing sweets. And then in the evening we would impatiently wait to be served food consisting of poori-kachori made of kuttu or singhara atta and vegetables prepared with rock-salt (sendha namak) followed by halwa or very tasty kheer. Going to bed at night we would wait for next Janmashatami to come soon.

          Today again it is Janmashatami. It is overcast with thick dark clouds. Looks like it will rain tonight. Will it be torrential rains, the way it was on that night? Devki’s eighth sibling will be born again. Vasudev will again carry him in basket from Mathura Jail to Vrindavan, wading through river turbulent Yamuna in spate. From now on child Krishna will captivate our imagination with his leelaas again. He has arrived to save a people from deamons and evil spirits. They will decorate temples and homes displaying various events celebrating His birth and His life. Special food will be prepared in homes. Prasad will be distributed in temples. People will congregate there to have darshan of Lord Krishna.

Amidst all this I will miss my mother. And I will miss that portrait of Lord Krishna that adored the wall across my bed with my mother staring hard at it for hours to ward off evil thoughts and images till I was born…

xxx