OF HUGS AND KISSES

Henry King Ketcham better known as Hank Ketcham, was an American cartoonist who created the Dennis the Menace comic strip.

George Everett Wilson is Dennis's cranky, cantankerous, middle-aged next-door neighbour; a retired postal carrier and (at least as far as Dennis is concerned) his best adult friend. Dennis likes Mr. Wilson but unintentionally annoys him, as he regularly disrupts Mr. Wilson's attempts at a serene, quiet life. Martha Wilson, Mr. Wilson's engaging wife, adores Dennis Mitchell and freely dotes on him and plies him with freshly baked cookies and milk. Martha sees Dennis as a surrogate grandson.

 In one of the comic strips, hugging Denis tightly she says: Sometimes a hug works better than a lecture.

 Hugging...is definitely a powerful way of communicating what words often fail to do. Going through some of the research on the subject I discovered that hugging (and also laughter) is extremely effective at healing sickness, disease, loneliness, depression, anxiety and stress. Hugs boost oxytocin levels in the body which counteract negative emotions like anger and loneliness. Oxytocin is released into defined regions of the brain that are involved in emotional, cognitive, and social responses that contribute to relaxation, trust and psychological stability. Hugs are one of the most succinct ways to encourage your body to release oxytocin, and the more oxytocin your pituitary gland releases, the better able you are to handle life's stressors like risk of heart disease, stress, fatigue, low immune system, infections and depression

She sleeps: on either hand upswells

The gold fringed pillow lightly prest:

She sleeps, nor dreams, but ever dwells

A perfect form in perfect rest.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson wrote his beautiful poem ‘Sleeping Beauty’ based on Little Briar-Rose tale by Brothers Grimm. The popularity of the Brothers Grimms' folktales has endured well. All of us all over the world have grown up reading or listening to these enchanting stories.

‘…. finally the prince came to the tower and opened the door to the little room where Little Brier-Rose was sleeping. There she lay and was so beautiful that he could not take his eyes off her. He bent over and gave her a kiss. When he touched her with the kiss Little Brier-Rose opened her eyes, awoke, and looked at him kindly.

A touch such as this can break boundaries and connect two people in a close relationship.  Like that touch by the prince took the story to a happy ending: ‘And then the prince's marriage to Little Brier-Rose was celebrated with great splendor, and they lived happily until they died.’

 Touching can certainly deepen a relationship or repair it.  A touch, a handshake, a pat on the back, a hug- all are very powerful mediums of  sending and receiving wordless cues between people.

 And the secret behind all this is more than skin deep!

Researchers list some of the benefits:  

We feel connected to others. We exchange energy. Touch reduces anxiety and makes us feel more secure and not so all alone. It’s not just children who could use a warm, reassuring hug to make things a little better. So if you’re feeling like a bundle of nerves, go ahead and ask for a hug!  It helps to bond. Touch is one of the ways romantic partners bond with each other and parents bond with their children. If you get busy in everyday life and let touch go out the window, you’ll often find that you don’t feel as close anymore and family relationships suffer. Touch lowers your blood pressure. Touch can also slow the heart rate and help speed recovery times from illness and surgery. It improves your outlook. A positive, trusting attitude towards others can reduce tension in your daily lives and improve your relationships. Touch gives us the sensory input that we crave. All our physical senses are truly important for proper brain and emotional development. We express our feelings by touch. Sometimes a gentle touch creates the safety that allows stifled feelings to surface. When expressing and releasing feelings is a part of your self-care routine; you become appreciative of these opportunities.

The English language reflects the link between physical touch and expressing emotions. We speak of stories, incidents, videos, plays, and movies etc. that move us deeply as ‘touching’.  

The Hindi poet Soordas wrote several poems about Lord Krishna’s childhood, one of which is ‘Maiya mori main nahin maakhan khayo’ [oh mother, it wasn’t me who ate the butter]. Yashoda enters the house and finds Krishna below the butter pot with butter on his lips. The song begins with Krishna declaring his innocence at the beginning, and admitting his guilt at the end. ‘Suradas’ tab vihasi jasoda, le ura kantha lagayo. Yashoda gently smiles, gives Krishna a hug. And this hug sets all the anger that Krishna had displayed, at rest.

Numerous film songs extol the pleasure, pain and virtue of hugging. Who can forget the immortal Lata number Lag ja gale ki phir ye haseen raat ho na ho…

And what about Munnabhai’s jhappi ? Munnabhai would give a big hug to anyone in trouble, to relieve their anxieties. He believed it was a magic cure for stress and made people feel better instantly, and so he called it a magical hug, jaadu ki jhappi.

Taking off from Karl Marx’ theory of alienation, Emotion work is the process of managing and presenting emotions in the private sphere of our lives, such as amongst family and friends and even as a customer. Emotional labour, in contrast, involves the commercialization of feelings through a transmutation of ‘private sphere’ feelings into a package of emotions that is consumed by the customer as a commodified service interaction.

Samantha Hess at the age of 31 is a professional cuddler from Portland, Oregon and a founder of ‘Cuddle Up to Me’ website. For $60 an hour, she'll intimately snuggle with strangers of all types, and bring them one-on-one cuddle time without the complications of a relationship.

"Let's hold hands and cuddle up on the couch, or listen to some soft music while we curl up in your bed - I am happy to be the big spoon or the little spoon." This is one of the first things you'll read when you visit Samantha Hess' website. Cuddling has become a profitable business worldwide for the many ‘professional cuddlers’ who offer their cuddling services as non-sexual and for a fee to those who are missing the touch and connection of another person.

National Hug Day first began in 1986, and was started by Reverend Kevin Zaborney in Caro, Michigan. January 21 is now being celebrated as Hug Day in the USA and many other parts of the world.

“If only you could have wrapped yourself up in me, how happy I would have been.”—D. H. Lawrence. 

When we hug, we love. We learn to give. And above all, we learn to trust. Hugs are a special gift we can receive and give. So, do you need a hug? ……..Sounds like we all do.......