PARAPROSDOKIAN

Simon John Philip was my Deputy Inspector General many years ago when I was a District officer. A man of taste, very proud of his uniform, he had a great sense of humour. In my long years of service I am convinced that it is an extremely important requisite to lighten the seriousness of business in the stressful jobs like that of policing because laughter is a subconscious release of tension. It gets rid of gloom, aggravation, depression, worry—all forms of tension.

Laughing is a serious business, according to researchers. It can help in conditions as diverse as diabetes and eczema, heart disease and asthma. It can boost the immune system and help fight infections, and laughter-yoga, clapping and chanting ho ho ha ha ha – can be an effective therapy for depression. What's more, 15 minutes of laughter can burn up 40 calories, while 10 minutes of belly laughter has a considerable analgesic effect on people with chronic pain.

While we were participating in  the annual revolver shooting competition, an inspector oblivious of the watchful eye of Mr. Philip walked up and informed him in bangla: Saar, ami 6-ta ‘bull’ merechhi.( I have scored 6 bull shots).  Prompt came Mr. Philip, again in chaste bangla: Apni ‘gool’ marchhen’ (You are bluffing). The sudden deflation of the chest of the officer sent all of us in splits.

Word play is a technique and a form of wit  primarily for the purpose of intended effect or amusement. Examples of word play include puns, phonetic mix-ups such as spoonerisms, malapropisms, obscure words and meanings, clever rhetorical excursions, oddly formed sentences, , double entendres etc .And now we add to it-Paraprosdokian.

A ‘paraprosdokian’ is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word.

The phrase paraprosdokian occurs in classical Greek literature, meaning “contrary to expectations”. However, the word appeared in print as early as 1891 in an article in Punch Magazine. The word hasn’t yet reached the recent revision of the letter P in the Oxford English Dictionary. The -ian ending is more commonly found in adjectives in English than in nouns, though a few, such as comedian and tragedian, do contain it. Paraprosdokians are used typically for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anti-climax. 

Here are some examples::

“Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

“We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.”

“War does not determine who is right, only who is left.”

 “I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”

“I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.”

Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx was an American comedian and film and television star. He was known as a master of quick wit. His distinctive appearance carried an exaggerated stooped posture, glasses, cigar, and a thick grease-paint mustache and eyebrows. These exaggerated features resulted in the creation of one of the world's most ubiquitous and recognizable novelty disguises, known as "Groucho glasses": a one-piece mask consisting of horn-rimmed glasses, large plastic nose, bushy eyebrows and mustache.

Few of Groucho Paraprosdokian sentences are:

“She got her good looks from her father; he's a plastic surgeon.”

“Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.”

“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”

“Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.”

 “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

Henry "Henny" Youngman was a British-born American comedian and violinist. He was known as "The King of the One Liners". These depicted simple, cartoon-like situations, eliminating lengthy build-ups and going straight to the punch line, occasionally with interludes of violin playing. Here are just a few.

“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.”

“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.”

“‘I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.”

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.”

Sir Winston Churchill once said, “History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”

He was a famously witty man. Some among hundreds of his paraprosdikians are shared here.

 "I like pigs. Cats look down on you; dogs look up to you; but pigs treat you like an equal."

"In the course of my life I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet."

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."

"Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip."

"There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you."

"A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen."

"If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favorable reference to the devil in the House of Commons."

Laughter is an integral part of emotional health. You just need to have the comical sense to see absurdity in daily life and ... there! You’re smiling and can convert that positive energy into movement, growth, and power for something meaningful.

I would have loved to conclude this write-up on a personal note, with a paraprosdokian: “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research”. And lastly by quoting another one: “You're never too old to learn something stupid.”

But I couldn’t resist my temptation of sharing this paraprosdokian and share a laugh with you.

A man is riding his motorcycle down a mountain road. Suddenly he loses control and goes hurtling off the cliff.

As he’s sailing through the air, he shouts out: “God! Please make a miracle! Save me!”

Moments later his shirt gets caught on a protruding branch—leaving him dangling thousands of feet above the ground.

There’s no way out, so he looks heavenward and shouts: “God! Please save me!”

“Do you trust Me, my beloved son?” calls the voice from heaven.

“Yes, God, I trust you. Just please save me!”

            “Okay then,” says God. “Let go of the branch and I’ll catch you.”

The man thinks for a moment, looks around, and calls out: “Is anyone else out there?!”

It is a powerful little gadget. This laughter.

BLOWIN' IN THE WIND

It was a windy morning with a nip in the air when I was climbing the steep slope leading to Mahakaal temple in Darjeeling the other day. Rain laden clouds were hung over me, giving me a feeling of getting drenched while the strong wind swept them away every now and then. Some distance away from the temple I noticed myriads of multicolored prayer flags with inscriptions, hung on rope lines and fluttering in the wind- sometimes waving gently, sometimes raging; a multi-hued dance of shadow and light. It was almost like a wall of flags on either side of the slope leading me up to the temple.

Prayer flags are not just pretty pieces of coloured cloth. The ancient Buddhist prayers, mantras, sutras and powerful symbols displayed on them seem to produce a spiritual vibration that is activated and carried far and wide by the wind. They are like silent prayers spoken on the breath of nature dissolved in the wind and extended to fill all of space..

Sudharsana Rajpaksha drove us through our visit to Sri Lanka. Endless beaches, timeless heritage sites, oodles of elephants, famous tea and flavourful food may just not be complete experience of Sri Lanka. In fact this Island country’s 2000-plus years of culture can be discovered at ancient sites where legendary temples exhibit beautiful details. I am still figuring out why they call it a lonely planet or why Rabindranath Tagore called it a tear drop on the cheek of time.

Sudharsana spoke fairly good English. He belonged to Galle, an exotic city, bursting with the scent of spices and salty winds, with its wonderful collection of Dutch-colonial buildings, a town of great beauty indeed.

As we travelled through, we came across Buddhist temples at several heritage sites, Anuradhapura, the ancient capital of Sri Lanka being amongst them. . Huge flags in five colors in a uniform order were hoisted in all these sites. Sudharsana being a Buddhist himself pointed out the sequence of the color order which is always: yellow, green, red, white and blue. Buddhism divides the phenomenal and psycho-cosmic world into five basic energies. In our physical world these manifest as earth, water, fire, air and space. Our own bodies and everything else in the physical world is composed of these five basic elements.

I recall Tulsidas in his Ramcharit Manas:

Kshiti, jal, paavak, gagan, sameera,

Panch tatwa se bana sharira II  

In Hindu mythology and religion, flags have a great significance.

Jagannath temple is one of the tallest monuments in the country representing the Kalingan architecture. The grand ritual of Dhwaja Parivartan or the Flag Change in the premises of the temple is being performed daily since last 800 years and is considered as an auspicious event to witness. The flag atop the temple always flaps in the opposite direction of air.

In Dwarka, Gujrat, 52 yards of woven cloth is used for making the Dhwaja. Fifty-two small flags are made and joined together to make a single flag. These 52 yards symbolizes, fifty entrances (gates) to the palace of Dwarkadheesh, with each gate having a Dhwaja (flag) besides the two main gates, Swarga Dwar & Moksha Dwar. The 52 yards flag waving from the summit of the temple can be seen from a great distance and people believe and consider a glance at it as a holy sight.

During the great battle of Kurukshetra, Hanuman appeared on Arjuna’s flag hoisted on the chariot of Arjuna and Sri Krishna to help Arjuna by stabilizing and strengthening his chariot. But during the great battle between Karna and Arjuna, even Hanuman failed to stabilize the chariot of Arjuna. Lord Krishna praised Karna  for this feat. The battle over,Krishna asked Arjuna, to step down the chariot. After Arjuna got down, Krishna followed him and thanked Hanuman for staying with them during the whole fight in the form of a flag on the chariot. Hanuman bowed to Krishna and left the flag. As soon as he left, the chariot began to burn and turned into ashes.

The Tibetan word for prayer flag is Dar Cho. “Dar” means to increase life, fortune, health and wealth. “Cho” means all sentient beings. Prayer flags are simple devices that, coupled with the natural energy of the wind, quietly harmonize the environment, impartially increasing happiness and good fortune among all living beings. The prayer flags acquire a fierce intensity when blown by those gusty winds.

As a natural force, the wind has been personified as one or more wind gods or as an expression of the supernatural in many cultures. Vayu is the Hindu god of wind. The Greek wind gods include Boreas, Notus, Eurus, and Zephyrus, Aeolus, in varying interpretations the ruler or keeper of the four winds, has also been described as Astraeus, the god of dusk who fathered the four winds with Eos, goddess of dawn. Venti are the Roman gods of the winds. Fujin, is the Japanese wind god and is one of the eldest Shintigods. Kamikaze is a Japanese word, usually translated as divine wind, believed to be a gift from the gods.

Bob Dylan is an American singer-songwriter, artist, and writer.  "Blowin' in the Wind",  a song written by him became an anthem for the American civil rights and anti-war movements. His lyrics depict the sufferings of mankind at the hands of the oppressor. The refrain "The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind" has been described as "impenetrably ambiguous: either the answer is so obvious it is right in your face, or the answer is as intangible as the wind; or the answer is rolling in the winds, so you can catch the answer by stretching your hands”.

Yes, how many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

 Here I stand on the edge of the hill on the top of this slope with my outstretched arms, the temple bells resonating in distance. I close my eyes, inhale a lungful of fresh air and pray that I could gather all power-laden energy of happiness, of good fortune, of fulfillment, of wisdom and of peace, as the prayer flags sometimes waving gently, sometimes fluttering vigorously, spread the answer far and wide, blowin’ in the wind….

THE SUNSET YEARS

Away from Her is a captivating and heartbreaking story of a woman (Julie Christie!) suffering from Alzheimer’s. When her illness advances to the point at which she feels she needs to check into a nursing home, her husband (Grant Pinsent) drops her off and reluctantly agrees not to visit her for 30 days in accordance with the home’s rules. But by the time he returns, she doesn’t recognize him and has begun a romance with one of her fellow residents.

My friend Shabbir Khandwawala has forwarded to me a few funny cartoons about the daily lives of elderly people. We all know that cartoons are one of the most effective means of

  communication we have. If laughter keeps you young, then these cartoons may be the ticket to getting older gracefully. But some of the humour also sets you thinking.

When the glow of the spirit begins to grow a bit dimmer and when we begin reflecting on best times in our past, I guess we have entered the twilight years.  Dictionary defines twilight as the soft diffused light occurring when the sun is just below the horizon, esp. following sunset. Sunset or sundown, is the daily disappearance of the sun  when the trailing edge of the sun's disk disappears about one diameter below the western horizon.

Time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unawares of the twilight years. How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go? I remember seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that twilight was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. But, here it is. My friends are retired and getting grey. Some are in better and some in worse shape than me...but, I see the great change.

Last scene of all, 
That ends this strange eventful history, 
Is second childishness and mere oblivion, 
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. 
-Shakespeare:As you like it.

I see a great change even in their sense of humour and appreciation of it.

There’s an episode in the first season of The Office in which Michael Scott, the tactless boss, is asking his female employees to serve as cheerleaders for an upcoming company basketball game. When the heavyset Phyllis says she’ll do it, Michael reflexively says, “Oh yuck, that’s worse than you playing.” He then tries to rescue the crack with, “because we need you as an alternate.”

According to a new study, this type of humor is exactly the kind you should never deploy around the elderly. Older adults are much less likely to be fans of the aggressive style of humor—laughing at the expense of others. The older participants like affiliative humour—the kind of jokes that bring people together through a funny or awkward situation.  A big reason for the generation gap in humor is that as we age, we experience a variety of physical and emotional setbacks—declining cognitive faculties or missing friends who pass away.  The affiliative style of humor helps us deal with these losses as humor relies on the psychological idea of the benign violation. Situations that are mostly wrong but still a little bit right.

 As they say,
when the age is in, the wit is out.

-Shakespeare:Much Ado About Nothing

So why doesn't grandma find that aggressive style of humor funny, young man? One explanation might be that the jokes have changed over time, and today’s older people are just accustomed to a gentler kind of wit. As in TV serials and sitcoms, people might have a greater emotional connection to a show from their own generation and may not appreciate the shows like Comedy Nights with Kapil or The Great Comedy Circus. They may still be missing the Doordarshan’s Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi, Dekh Bhai Dekh, Hum Paanch or Nukkad. Or those brilliant BBC sitcoms like The Office, Yes Minister or Curb Your Enthusiasm.

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other seniors who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.

George is such a person. He told us, 'I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?'

'Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whisky into urine. It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling. I do it every day and I really enjoy it.

Most of us know from experience that having a sense of humor, particularly in advancing years, about things can make life a little easier. And there's science to back that up: Being able to laugh at yourself may be a sign of an optimistic personality and a robust sense of humor and can add years to your life.

The Fountain of Youth is dull as paint

Methuselah is my patron saint

I’ve never been so comfortable before

Oh, I’m so glad that I’m not young anymore

-From Gigi a 1958 American musical

Sawako Ariyoshi was a Japanese writer and novelist. Her novel The Twilight Years depicts the life of a working woman who is caring for her elderly, dying father-in-law. Ariyoshi's detailed story of ordinary life raises important issues about the quality of life at the end of life, care giving for the old, and the dilemma of women who have both career and family obligations. The work gives us believable characters and home situations that reach beyond Asian experience.

 David Luke Myrick, known professionally as T. Texas Tyler, was an American country music singer and songwriter. I chanced upon one of his numbers ‘Sunset years of life’.

Mom and dad's been married 50 years today

 And for them old time has surely slipped away

But those wrinkles they don't lie

Their young years have passed them by

 I can see they're growing older day by day

Yes, they're living in the sunset years of life.

If we look at the last third of our lives as the Sunset Years, we can take in the brilliant colors, the effect the setting sun has on the planet and the calmness and softness with which the sun appears to slowly sink into the horizon. The sun's energy doesn't go away because it's setting or disappearing from our view. What remains of the fading light leaves a peacefulness and time to rest .And maybe that's where the term comes from- the softness of a diffused twilight when the sun is below the horizon. It's the calmness and peacefulness that we can finally choose our way of life whether it be with great energy, color and excitement, or with quiet dignity and wisdom...or both.

So says Rabindranath Tagore:

Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add to my sunset sky. 

Tonight, watch the sunset.

OF HUGS AND KISSES

Henry King Ketcham better known as Hank Ketcham, was an American cartoonist who created the Dennis the Menace comic strip.

George Everett Wilson is Dennis's cranky, cantankerous, middle-aged next-door neighbour; a retired postal carrier and (at least as far as Dennis is concerned) his best adult friend. Dennis likes Mr. Wilson but unintentionally annoys him, as he regularly disrupts Mr. Wilson's attempts at a serene, quiet life. Martha Wilson, Mr. Wilson's engaging wife, adores Dennis Mitchell and freely dotes on him and plies him with freshly baked cookies and milk. Martha sees Dennis as a surrogate grandson.

 In one of the comic strips, hugging Denis tightly she says: Sometimes a hug works better than a lecture.

 Hugging...is definitely a powerful way of communicating what words often fail to do. Going through some of the research on the subject I discovered that hugging (and also laughter) is extremely effective at healing sickness, disease, loneliness, depression, anxiety and stress. Hugs boost oxytocin levels in the body which counteract negative emotions like anger and loneliness. Oxytocin is released into defined regions of the brain that are involved in emotional, cognitive, and social responses that contribute to relaxation, trust and psychological stability. Hugs are one of the most succinct ways to encourage your body to release oxytocin, and the more oxytocin your pituitary gland releases, the better able you are to handle life's stressors like risk of heart disease, stress, fatigue, low immune system, infections and depression

She sleeps: on either hand upswells

The gold fringed pillow lightly prest:

She sleeps, nor dreams, but ever dwells

A perfect form in perfect rest.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson wrote his beautiful poem ‘Sleeping Beauty’ based on Little Briar-Rose tale by Brothers Grimm. The popularity of the Brothers Grimms' folktales has endured well. All of us all over the world have grown up reading or listening to these enchanting stories.

‘…. finally the prince came to the tower and opened the door to the little room where Little Brier-Rose was sleeping. There she lay and was so beautiful that he could not take his eyes off her. He bent over and gave her a kiss. When he touched her with the kiss Little Brier-Rose opened her eyes, awoke, and looked at him kindly.

A touch such as this can break boundaries and connect two people in a close relationship.  Like that touch by the prince took the story to a happy ending: ‘And then the prince's marriage to Little Brier-Rose was celebrated with great splendor, and they lived happily until they died.’

 Touching can certainly deepen a relationship or repair it.  A touch, a handshake, a pat on the back, a hug- all are very powerful mediums of  sending and receiving wordless cues between people.

 And the secret behind all this is more than skin deep!

Researchers list some of the benefits:  

We feel connected to others. We exchange energy. Touch reduces anxiety and makes us feel more secure and not so all alone. It’s not just children who could use a warm, reassuring hug to make things a little better. So if you’re feeling like a bundle of nerves, go ahead and ask for a hug!  It helps to bond. Touch is one of the ways romantic partners bond with each other and parents bond with their children. If you get busy in everyday life and let touch go out the window, you’ll often find that you don’t feel as close anymore and family relationships suffer. Touch lowers your blood pressure. Touch can also slow the heart rate and help speed recovery times from illness and surgery. It improves your outlook. A positive, trusting attitude towards others can reduce tension in your daily lives and improve your relationships. Touch gives us the sensory input that we crave. All our physical senses are truly important for proper brain and emotional development. We express our feelings by touch. Sometimes a gentle touch creates the safety that allows stifled feelings to surface. When expressing and releasing feelings is a part of your self-care routine; you become appreciative of these opportunities.

The English language reflects the link between physical touch and expressing emotions. We speak of stories, incidents, videos, plays, and movies etc. that move us deeply as ‘touching’.  

The Hindi poet Soordas wrote several poems about Lord Krishna’s childhood, one of which is ‘Maiya mori main nahin maakhan khayo’ [oh mother, it wasn’t me who ate the butter]. Yashoda enters the house and finds Krishna below the butter pot with butter on his lips. The song begins with Krishna declaring his innocence at the beginning, and admitting his guilt at the end. ‘Suradas’ tab vihasi jasoda, le ura kantha lagayo. Yashoda gently smiles, gives Krishna a hug. And this hug sets all the anger that Krishna had displayed, at rest.

Numerous film songs extol the pleasure, pain and virtue of hugging. Who can forget the immortal Lata number Lag ja gale ki phir ye haseen raat ho na ho…

And what about Munnabhai’s jhappi ? Munnabhai would give a big hug to anyone in trouble, to relieve their anxieties. He believed it was a magic cure for stress and made people feel better instantly, and so he called it a magical hug, jaadu ki jhappi.

Taking off from Karl Marx’ theory of alienation, Emotion work is the process of managing and presenting emotions in the private sphere of our lives, such as amongst family and friends and even as a customer. Emotional labour, in contrast, involves the commercialization of feelings through a transmutation of ‘private sphere’ feelings into a package of emotions that is consumed by the customer as a commodified service interaction.

Samantha Hess at the age of 31 is a professional cuddler from Portland, Oregon and a founder of ‘Cuddle Up to Me’ website. For $60 an hour, she'll intimately snuggle with strangers of all types, and bring them one-on-one cuddle time without the complications of a relationship.

"Let's hold hands and cuddle up on the couch, or listen to some soft music while we curl up in your bed - I am happy to be the big spoon or the little spoon." This is one of the first things you'll read when you visit Samantha Hess' website. Cuddling has become a profitable business worldwide for the many ‘professional cuddlers’ who offer their cuddling services as non-sexual and for a fee to those who are missing the touch and connection of another person.

National Hug Day first began in 1986, and was started by Reverend Kevin Zaborney in Caro, Michigan. January 21 is now being celebrated as Hug Day in the USA and many other parts of the world.

“If only you could have wrapped yourself up in me, how happy I would have been.”—D. H. Lawrence. 

When we hug, we love. We learn to give. And above all, we learn to trust. Hugs are a special gift we can receive and give. So, do you need a hug? ……..Sounds like we all do.......