JANMASHTAMI
It was one of those hot afternoons-the
hot wind blowing outside with the sun beating down. I was forced to stay back
at home.
During summer months in Rajasthan, the temperature goes very
high on almost all days. Besides the burning heat, there are frequent dust
storms. I must have been around 5/6 years old and my mother was persuading me
nay threatening me to go to sleep. This was the regular ritual during the
summer afternoons, basically to prevent me from slipping out of the house to
play with Narayani, who would be peeping out of her window to spot me and come
out to join me. Narayani must be my age. She was the daughter of the caretaker
of the Club across my house. Also if I
slept, my mother would catch a wink, after a hectic routine through the
morning.
It
was in one of those forced confinements in the afternoons that I first noticed
a Krishna painting hung high on the wall opposite my bed. Ma introduced me to
Lord Krishna. She told me lots of tales of his adventures- his mischief making,
his stealing butter, his outings with other boys to jungles with cows, his
teasing of Gopis, his love for Radha and many many of his baal
leelas.. I could sense a lot of appreciation for His antiques in her eyes
and a body language of reverence. And I always wondered while Krishna was
appreciated and admired for his acts, why was I taken to task for my kind of little
pranks.. But then I was told that He was superhuman, omnipotent and
omnipresent. He possessed supernatural powers. He could dance on the head of
very dangerous Kalia the multi-headed snake in turbulent Yamuna, he
could lift Govardhan Parvat on his small finger, he could slay deamons
like Putna single handed, he could counter mama Kans’s evil moves
and he could play flute with such ethereal notes that even animals would come
and listen to his bansuri. And listening to all these stories I grew up
in awe and admiration of Lord Krishna. It was much later when I became aware of
Bhagwadgita and the wisdom of its verses to which my father introduced
me.
My
mother, I remember, had once told me
that she had acquired that picture purposefully even before my birth and that while
she was expecting me, she would spend long time gazing at the portrait largely to ward off evil thoughts and images
which would otherwise have an adverse effect on the child to be born. But even
after 5/6years of my birth I found that portrait still upon the wall across my
bed. I often wondered why that portrait was still on there when the stated
intent and purpose was accomplished. For several years after that it remained
there and soon it became part of the household. It did not bother me during my
growing years and I stopped questioning its existence. I do not remember when
it became a part of my being. Krishna becoming a member of the family! Gradually
I had noticed that its colours had started fading, with the paper cracking at
several places, the frame loosening and the hardboard backing going warp. This
portrait must have been there for at least five decades now.
And
then one day it disappeared from its appointed place. As I returned home on
vacation I noticed it was gone! I knew it had to go one day. It had perhaps
lived its full life and left us leaving a void! It was difficult for a long
time not to feel its presence at that appointed space. Intuitively one would
look up to seek Krishna’s blessings when going out.
In
course of time, my mother passed away and then my father. While Lord Krishna
continues to be omnipresent somewhere in the space of my imagination, it is
difficult to assume that my parents are there with Him when only till the other
day they were with me in flesh and blood.
Today
again it is Janmashatami. It is overcast with thick dark clouds. Looks like it
will rain tonight. Will it be torrential rains, the way it was on that night?
Devki’s eighth sibling will be born again. Vasudev will again carry him in
basket from Mathura Jail to Vrindavan, wading through river turbulent Yamuna
in spate. From now on child Krishna will captivate our imagination with his leelaas
again. He has arrived to save a people from deamons and evil spirits. They will
decorate temples and homes displaying various events celebrating His birth and
His life. Special food will be prepared in homes. Prasad will be distributed in
temples. People will congregate there to have darshan of Lord Krishna.
Amidst all this I will miss my mother.
And I will miss that portrait of Lord Krishna that adored the wall across my
bed with my mother staring hard at it for hours to ward off evil thoughts and
images till I was born…
xxx