TOMRE PAASSH LOSSHI HAAI ?

I have no idea of  the IPS Recruitment Rules with regards to physical standards in the early years post independence. I am not sure if any minimum height was prescribed for recruitment to the Service during the initial days of the Indian Police Service as it got transformed from the colonial  Indian Police.  A couple of very senior officers of the fifties vintage that I had the privilege of serving under,  perhaps would have found it difficult to clear the currently required physical standards  even if they had made it through the written exams.

The Wizard of Id is a daily newspaper comic-strip created by American cartoonists Brant Parker and Johnny Hart. The king is  pint-sized. Jokes are often centered on his height (about three feet). He wears a crown and cape that makes him look like a playing card. Occasionally, his name is given as "Id" and he is "Sire" to his subjects,

The  DIG of my Range always reminded me of the Wizard of Id, and more so  due to those extra pounds that seemed to further weigh him down. He would insist on speaking to me in Hindi. It was a time when I had acquired some kind of proficiency in Bengali and was comfortable speaking the language. Nevertheless his self proclaimed innovative and creative oratory skills would come to the fore when he combined Hindi-ised Bengali with Bengali-ised Hindi. A couple of times I tried to prompt him to speak the language he was comfortable with but every time he would remind me how widely travelled he was and consequently how  proficient he was in languages of several regions across the country that he had been to. 

In course of one such interaction with him I tried to bring him back to our lingua franca but to no good. To prove his fluency in Hindi he recounted one of his visits to Allahabad. In course of his wanderings in the holy city, he stopped at a sweet shop also selling beverages

including lassi, a drink made from churned curd. The sun was beating down and he was thirsty. He had to order a glass of lassi. And he had to order lassi in Hindi  "lest the salesman find out that I was not from Hindi heart-land and for that he would charge me exorbitantly." So what did you do sir, I inquired, overtly displaying a childlike curiosity. After all I must keep my superiors happy. It is an investment for who knows I may be working again under him some time. Encouraged with my rapt attention, he continued "I asked him: loudly tomre paassh loshee haai?' And he glanced in my direction as if seeking approval from a Hindi speaking person to the correctness of his diction and pronunciation. He firmly believed that it was perfect  "local" Hindi that the sweet-shop salesman couldn't make out that he was not a native! At the end of this episode I ensured that he did not miss out on my admiration for his smart move as I  nodded in full approval of his Hindi and acted suitably impressed.

Sycophancy is an artless art as they say.

I was appearing for my High School examination. Everyone knows this is one of the most important milestones in the life of a young person- the first Board examination. In English paper, there is always a paragraph in Hindi to be translated into English. I recall it was a short story about a 'badhai' as a carpenter is called in Hindi. The passage was fairly easy but I got stuck with the word "badhai". I clean forgot its English equivalent and totally blanked out. In the strictly invigilated room and also ashamed at asking someone such a common word,  or stealing a glance, I sat motionless for a few minutes trying to figure out the English equivalent. It never came back to me. Time was running out fast. And then I thought of another alternative word. How about 'wood-craftsman'? I am still not sure if it was an accurate English equivalent to "badhai" in Hindi.

Many years back a student of mine recounted  an episode in a lighter vein: how to catch a crocodile alive. You must have the following equipment with you, he said: a match box, a

forceps, a binocular and a boring novel.  ( I am refraining myself from  specifically recommending a few novels including some award winning ones). Now that you have everything you need to catch a crocodile, go to the river. Keep all the equipment mentioned above, by your side. Start reading the boring novel loudly. The crocodile will rush towards you. While waiting  for the right opportunity to catch you.he would  listen to the insipid paragraph after paragraph from the novel and soon bored by the narrative, fall off to sleep. Now this is your chance. Hold the binocular upside down with wider lenses close to your eyes. You will find that the crocodile has become very small in size. Hold the forceps and catch the crocodile with it and keep it in the match box! Funny? No. Innovative? Yes.

Innovation according to several interpretations  is the application of better solutions that meet new requirements, un-articulated needs, or existing needs.  The term "innovation" can be defined as something original and more effective and, as a consequence, new, that "breaks into" the market or society  It is both a process and an outcome. In fact to think of it, all the jokes circulating on social sites including Whatsapp are hugely innovative. So does it lead us to believe that all humour is innovative?

I had barely settled down in my chair in the office in Jalpaiguri, when my PA connected me to OC Falakata police station. A leopard had strayed in to a particular village and was terrorising the villagers. It was fast turning in to a law and order issue. He urgently wanted

additional forces to deal with the restive, scared and agitated mob as also the immediate intervention of the forest department. I , accordingly ordered dispatch of some additional force to him and spoke to the concerned forest officer (DFO) to contain or neutralize the animal. A young DFO on his first charge was more than eager to do the needful. It was one of his first major field engagements. He told me he was personally going to the spot to take charge of the situation. Relieved, I got on with my routine work thereafter and almost forgot about the incident until a little after two hours of the first report that I had received, another call was received by my Additional SP. The menace was still at large and the foresters had not been able to trap the leopard. In their final assault to contain the terror, they wanted the local police to procure a 100 feet bamboo.

 A hundred feet bamboo? Yes. They would tie cotton at the tip of the bamboo, soaked in a heavy dose of sedatives and will take it close to the nose of the leopard who would inhale it and eventually fall off to sleep!.

 I spent close to 7 years in North Bengal and had on many occasions travelling particularly at night through the forest roads seen big animals crossing the roads or sitting by the roadside too stunned to move with headlights of the car full on. It never occurred to me that they could be dealt with this way. In hindsight, one could try a couple of bottles of Bhutan rum available aplenty in North Bengal,  mixed it with their food to allow them to pass out. Just to remind you that this is an innovative idea!

So dear readers. The moral of the story is that you should be innovative in all tricky situations in life. You would then laugh all the way to achieving your mission. To begin with while travelling through the holy cities of Uttar Pradesh and feeling parched, go to a beverages shop and ask on top of your voice; Tomre paash losshee hai? I am sure the vendor dare not fleece you by quoting exorbitant cost for the brew as he would immediately know you are a original local!

Innovation indeed is both a process and an outcome.