IN one
of the Districts that I served, I had a District Magistrate who was convinced
that unless he asserted his authority continuously at all times and ad nauseum, no one was going to take him
seriously. Tilting his head to an angle of ten minutes to six by the clock,
every time he opened his mouth, he would start by declaring, ‘as District Magistrate I am saying this,
‘as District Magistrate my opinion
is, ‘as District Magistrate I will
hold this meeting…’ami Jela-Shashok
hishabe bolchhii’…
All humans have a need to feel included and respected
and have self-esteem and self-respect. Esteem
presents a typical human desire to be accepted and valued by others. And what
lengths does one go in this pursuit!
‘Didn’t see you yesterday (Tomake dekhlaam na!)’ Inquired Ashok after he did not find me
attending a party hosted by a rich and famous person.
It was not the first occasion that he had
asked me this question. Not that he was concerned about my well being. He was just
confirming if I was included in the guest list like him and whether I was still
counted. By checking with me he would reassure himself with a superior air and
sadistic pleasure how important and valued a member of city’s elite community
he was – a page three number indeed!
During the turbulent years of naxalite upsurge
in the State, an Additional Superintendent of a North Bengal district, let us
assume his name was Ram Singh, figured as a class enemy on the list of some naxalite
outfit. On learning about the perceived threat to his life and contrary to a
commonly expected reaction, he started to walk on foot between his residence and
the Police Lines instead of taking his official car, in complete disregard to the
diktat. And to drive home the point further, he
prominently displayed his name on a sticker pinned to his shirt. Now this was
quite a sensational event for this small, sleepy and terror stricken town. Soon
he became a household word for fearlessness and indomitable spirit.
Later, I found to my utter surprise and
disbelief that his reputation had transcended the district boundaries.
Once, while posted in the undivided 24 Parganas,
I had to rush to a rural police station area for some law and order issue. A
leader of the ruling party appeared on the scene, much after we had dealt with
the situation leading to the cooling down of tempers and restoration of
normalcy. While finally walking back to
my car to leave for headquarters I thanked him for his presence and support. He
looked at me and for whatever provocation, said ‘Ami apnaar naam sunechhi.’ (I have heard your name). So my name was also known! So I also had a reputation!
A warm and
swirling sensation went throughout my insides much
like a few shots of a single malt whisky. I felt a bit lightheaded, as my head
began to swell. And then it all came down crashing. A sidekick of the
leader turned round and whispered to him ‘Uni ki Ram Singh?’ (Is he Ram Singh?)
Freud and Shakespeare both
recognized that the relationship between name and identity is so strong that
the misrepresentation of a name amounts to a misrepresentation of the person. (My
apologies for misrepresenting names in this narrative). But the sense of
personal identity and uniqueness that a name gives us is at the heart of why
names interest us and why they are important to us as individuals and to our
society as a whole.
From the time I remember listening to and
appreciating Hindi film music, I have wondered why the hero of the film has had
to introduce his personality in the film by way of a song. Raj Kapoor’s classic
Awara’s (1948) title song Awara hoon
is the earliest number perhaps that I remember. Song after song followed the
trend like chhalia mera naam from
Chhalia, or that Devanand number Akela
hoon main is duniya mein, or Mera
naam Raju gharana anam from Jis desh
mein ganga behti hai or Main hoon Don.
There are yet many more songs in this genre that I can recall.
Is it because
that the hero is not sure whether the audience will accept him or include him
in their fantasy world even when a film in nothing but a ‘willing suspension of disbelief’? Or does he lack the self-esteem. If the films are a real life reflection of
your personality, then surely all humans need to
feel a sense of belonging and acceptance among their social groups, regardless
whether these
groups are large or small. Humans need to love and be loved – both sexually and
non-sexually – by others.
Nagin, a great
musical released in 1955, was a super hit film of its time. I remember several
of its popular songs. In the Annual function of my junior school, one of its songs
was played in the background in a play while the lead character carried a child
character in his arms. Now that child happened to be studying in my section.
All that the child had to do was to feign death in the arms of this character
while the soulful Hemant Kumar number played in the background. I was very
dejected nay almost heartbroken to see another child doing this role. I am
convinced even now that I could have feigned death better. To this day I regret
how they missed the opportunity to discover my histrionic talent!
Maslow's
hierarchy of needs is often portrayed in the shape of a pyramid with the largest,
most fundamental levels of needs at the bottom and the need for self-actualization at the top. Self-esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional
evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an
attitude toward the self.
The name is Bond, James Bond.
Why does he
have to introduce himself twice in the same breath- right from Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton,
and Pierce Brosnan to Daniel Craig!
Of course
there is a lot in the name notwithstanding the Shakespearian perspective: ‘What’s in a name’.
My firm belief
in my importance in the social circuit sometime makes me to imagine myself in
the great Amitabh Bachhan character and in his inimitable baritone introduce
myself to the world …Anthony… Anthony Gonsalves…
And then I have
two choices. Like him I turn around and in a lightening action give a hard
punch in the face of the guy standing next to me who had the audacity of
demanding the introduction of such an
important person or break into a jig to convey my intense desire to be wanted… main duniya mein akela hoon.
Feeling
important makes you drunk on yourself. Feeling wanted makes you a human being
high on someone else.
What
is your elixir?
