WHERE IS THE CONTINGENCY?

I was posted for some time in the Intelligence Branch of the West Bengal Police as the Special Superintendent, looking after the VIP/VVIP security including that of the Chief Minister. In accordance with the charter of duties, I would accompany the Chief Minister on his tours. The close proximity to the Chief Minister both in this and some other field assignments, afforded a good insight in quite a few unforced oversights and faux pas that occurred on some occasions, compelling me to be increasingly convinced of the Murphy’s Law.  

Captain Edward A. Murphy, an engineer working with the American Air Force sometime around early fifties, is credited with the universal coinage, known as Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

The Chief Minister was staying overnight in a Government bungalow off LRP Road in Siliguri. As usual, I had accompanied him from Kolkata. A team of officers from IB was also there for his proximate security. The district administration and the department, to which the bungalow belonged, had made all the necessary arrangements for the comfortable stay of the VVIP. A generator was also hired and installed in the bungalow campus to take care of any sudden power break-down or load-shedding that was quite frequent in those areas.  After lunch, the CM had retired to his suite before his next engagement a couple of hours later and we and the top officials of the district administration would now settle down for our Lunch. But you can’t push the Murphy’s Law under the carpet. There was a sudden power outage and each one of us jumped to his feet. Quick, quick! Switch on the generator! An officer was sent to nudge the generator operator to start it. But soon the officer came back running; ‘Sir, the generator operator is not there. He has gone to poop!’ I am not sure if this officer was providing a protective cover to the truant operator for his recalcitrance but I am positive there is no Murphy’s Law to cover this contingency.

In Banga Bhawan, New Delhi, I was, escorting the CM up to his suite in the VIP lift. His personal security guard of over three decades was also with us. As I pushed the button of the lift to the desired floor, little did I realize that we were embarking on an odyssey.

Dictionary defines odyssey as a long wandering and eventful journey. I was very sure that I had pressed the correct floor button but instead of stopping at the desired destination, the lift went up to the top floor and before I could react or think of any corrective measures, it began moving down and the LED indicator showed it had reached back the ground floor. The door wouldn’t open. So thinking fast, I pushed the desired button again taking extra care to ensure that I was pushing the right button. The lift again embarked on its journey and again overshot the destination and again returned to the ground floor. This time the door flung open. The CM got out to the shocked and panic stricken look of the senior functionaries of the Banga Bhawan huddled in front of the lift. Other than mildly inquiring ‘ki holo’ the CM simply walked to the other common lift. 

CM was visiting the district where I was the district officer. He was put up at an irrigation department bungalow which the district administration had selected for it was a relatively new property compared to the old circuit house that was in every respect a relic of the British raj. After breakfast, the CM left to see some World Bank aided projects in the countryside of the district and was to return at lunchtime. As scheduled, he came back around mid-day. In a while his confidential assistant (CA) came out rushing. The geyser in the bathroom was not working. The CA asked if a bucketful of hot water could be arranged instead.  Immediately the chowkidar of the bungalow was summoned and asked to do the needful. Considerable time elapsed and our nerves were almost on the verge of getting shattered. Yet there was no bucketful of hot water in sight. Information arrived that the peon had gone to procure firewood! It seemed like ages when the bucket with hot water finally arrived. But wait. The story did not end there.  Again the CA rushed out; there is no soap and towel in the bathroom.

Now this was like the proverbial last straw. The hugely upset District Magistrate wanted to see the concerned engineer responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of the bungalow forthwith. I distinctly remember it was a Sunday. A police officer was sent to fetch him from his house. A body mass of a panting and profusely sweating human being, whose belly preceded him, appeared. ‘Ki hoyechhe Saar’, asked the nervous engineer. The DM told him, ‘The Geyser is not working. There is no soap, no towel in the VIP bathroom.’ Suddenly the engineer breathed easy. ‘Apni ei jonyo amake dekechhen? Amader contingency kothai?’ (You called me for this? Where do we have the contingency fund?). And before anyone could recover from the shock of this argument, the Executive Engineer of the Irrigation Department of the Government, responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of the property, was gone.

Every Independence Day the CM hoists the National Flag in front of the Writers’ Buildings and the National Anthem is played by the Kolkata Police Band to the Rashtriya Salute by an attending contingent of Kolkata Police. The responsibility for fixing the pole and preparing 

an elevated platform rested with the Writers’ unit of the PWD and for fixing the flag, with the unit responsible for everyday hoisting and lowering of the National flag on top of the Writers’ Buildings. The national flag folded with rose petals was up on the flag pole to be unfurled by a pull of the rope with the simultaneous playing of the national anthem and salami shastra by the police contingent. The CM arrived at the appointed hour, stepped on to the elevated platform erected for the purpose. The parade commander paid compliments to him. The CM now turned facing the flagpole. A subedar of the Kolkata Armed Police designated to assist him, handed over the end of the rope to him and the CM pulled at the rope. The loop holding the folded flag on the top end of the pole did not slide to release the flag.  The flag did not unfurl. He looked up the pole and gave a hard jerk to the rope. To the shock and horror of everyone present, the folded flag got unfastened from the pole. It dropped in the out stretched hands of the alert subedar who was stationed below the flag pole to fasten the rope once the flag was unfurled by the CM. However the moment the CM was seen pulling the rope, the contingent commander’s loud and clear command for the Rashtriya Salute was executed. CM saluted and so did all the uniformed personnel present. Thereafter the CM stepped down the platform and acknowledging the greetings from a sparse gathering of top functionaries of the government, walked up to his car with the Police Commissioner, the Chief Secretary and the Home Secretary in tow and departed. I was ordered by the Chief Secretary to inquire in to the circumstances leading to this unprecedented mishap and fix the responsibility. In due course, I placed my report before the Chief Secretary in presence of the Home Secretary and the Commissioner of Police. Whatever was my finding and whatever follow-up measures were taken, you can’t guarantee that such or similar mishaps would not happen again. You can’t defy Murphy’s Law.

One dark evening in the U.S., Murphy's car ran out of gas. As he hitchhiked to a gas station, while facing traffic and wearing white, he was struck from behind by a British tourist who was driving on the wrong side of the road.  

Edward A. Murphy, engineer, working with the American Air Force and the discoverer of the time tested Murphy’s Law was dead.

If anything can go wrong, it will.

DON'T SMILE:WE ARE INDIANS

A few days ago I was travelling to Mumbai on an Indigo flight. It was not such a bright day both literally and figuratively. I was travelling to be with the bereaved family of a close relative who had expired suddenly the previous day. It was a cloudy sky and showers were forecast. We took off on time and were airborne reaching the 35,000 feet above the mean sea level. Soon, we started experiencing mild turbulence such as generally happens in monsoon due to clouds hanging heavy in the sky. The seat-belt signs were on. It was an early morning flight necessitating the travelers to rise early. Most of them were catching up with their lost hours of sleep when suddenly everyone was jolted out of his/her slumber. The aircraft was rocking from side to side and with occasional thuds it seemed like it was hitting a wall. It almost felt like travelling on a Kolkata road full of craters where the drivers try to avoid the ditches moving this way or the other. I held on to the arms of my seat tightly although I knew the futility of such exercise if things got worse.   The strutting was intermittent and with each thud there were shrieks and groans.  But what struck me was that each time after each thud, the lady sitting across in the aisle seat would turn and exchange a glance with me and smile. I would also return her smile. I had a brief moment of disbelief that one could smile in the face of such an unnerving event. And that too share that smile with a stranger. As the aircraft stabilized after what appeared to be an eternity and the seat-belt sign got switched off, I caught my breath, reclined my seat and leaned back. I glanced at the lady to catch her eye, half expecting her to smile back, now that the nightmare was over; to my disappointment I found that she looked through me and took her gaze off without smiling. She appeared to have switched off along with the ‘fasten seat belt’ sign.

I landed in Mumbai safely though the announcement by the cabin crew ‘hope you had a pleasant flight’ sounded out of place and bizarre. But one question has bothered me ever since. Why did the two strangers smile at each other in the midst of such a scary scenario, when everyone seemed to be in panic, when everyone was extremely nervous with heart in mouth? And again where did the smile vanish when we were assured of a safe landing?

At my daughter’s home in Mumbai, I was checking out the chart for my 3 year old grandson’s progression, history of vaccinations and inoculations and the steps a normal child takes in course of growing up. This informative booklet was given to my daughter upon discharge from the hospital after the delivery. It contained a lot of useful information and valuable tips on tending a growing toddler. Of these, one that caught my eye was about ‘social smile’ that a child starts to display when he is two months’ old. A small note at the bottom said: ‘By encouraging your baby to smile, you're helping your baby develop self-esteem. It lets the baby know that his/her feelings are important and that he/she can affect the environment. It's also important for a baby’s overall brain development.’

 After two tough months of late-night feedings and diaper changes, you're in for a big treat -- a smile from your baby. Newborns often smile in their sleep. But starting between 6 and 8 weeks of life, babies develop a "social smile" -- an intentional gesture of warmth meant just for you. This is an important milestone- baby is growing up and starting to figure out human behavior. Baby realizes that smiling back at you gets your attention and it also reveals that his/her communication skills are on track. Even at 3 years of age when my grandson committed a mischief or dropped or broke anything, he looks at his mother and smiles that disarms her and deters her from scolding him.  On the contrary, she smiles back too!

Standing in front of the framed and famed picture of Mona Lisa in the big hall at Louvre in Paris,  I wondered why the Mona Lisa became one of the most famous paintings of all times. That’s a question an incredible amount of people have asked themselves in the past. Mona Lisa's smile has repeatedly been a subject of many—greatly varying—interpretations. Some have described the smile as both innocent and inviting. Many researchers have tried to explain why the smile is seen so differently by people. The explanations range from scientific theories about human vision to curious supposition about Mona Lisa's identity and feelings. And one possible answer could be: because of her unique smile.

As a district officer, I was asked by my grumpy Range DIG to come over and meet him for some official matter. He always appeared to be in a foul mood and I had rarely seen him smile. Late in the evening I landed up in his office chamber. As I seated myself across his table, he summoned his office orderly and asked for tea to be served. We began chatting while we waited for tea to arrive. We were in the middle of some discussion when, after considerable delay, the orderly returned to the office chamber and with a broad grin on his face said ‘Saar, cha to aar paoa jaabe na’ (Tea will not be available anymore). Instead of taking the import of the communication as it was, the DIG literally took him on his ‘face value’. He glared at the poor harbinger of the tidings of a failed mission and shouted ‘Ta hole haashchho keno?’ (Then why are you laughing).

Once, in school, I was punished for something in the class and the teacher ordered me to stand upon the bench for the whole period. My standing on the bench could not have been worse timed, as just then I saw outside my mother passing by in the courtyard, it being a shortcut to the market. I must have smiled perhaps either out of guilt or shame or whatever, but my mother wore a very shocked and embarrassed look and quickly moved away. The criminal jurisprudence does not apply in such circumstances where the dictum says you cannot be punished twice for the same offence. Needless to say my mother’s retribution awaited me as I smilingly entered home later in the day.

According to studies smiling reduces stress that your body and mind feel, almost similar to getting good sleep, and smiling helps to generate more positive emotions within you. That’s why we often feel happier around children – they smile more. On an average, they do so 400 times a day. Whilst happy people still smile 40-50 times a day, the average of us only do so 20 times or even less.

Why don’t we smile more often?  Why don’t we exchange ‘social smile’ when we come across each other, even strangers? Overseas, I have noticed that most people greet with a smile, nod or a hello, when they pass each other. However, such rule doesn’t apply when Indians encounter other Indians. Back home too, we don’t smile at each other. Most of the women reflexively don’t respond with a smile (unless there is turbulence in the sky!). Not many of us greet strangers or unknown people. We stare at the other person with a serious face and walk past.

Mohammed Rafi was one of the most popular singers of the Hindi film industry and certainly one of the greatest in Bollywood history.  He was noted for his versatility; his songs ranged from classical numbers to patriotic songs, sad lamentations to highly romantic numbers, qawwalis to ghazals and bhajans. He was known for his ability to mould his voice to the persona of the actor, lip-syncing the song. Have you ever seen any photograph of his where he is not smiling? May be it is the secret of the sweetness in his voice. He transmitted the positive energy of being happy that perhaps made the generations to smile to his beautiful and soulful renditions.

Smiling is definitely more than just a contraction of muscles in your face or corners of your mouth or sockets of your eyes. In fact Mother Teresa’s “We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.” reaches probably even farther and beyond than imagined. A smile can cause boundaries to melt, hearts to warm up, and distances to reduce. When we smile, we share happiness with ourselves first, before we do that to others.  

I was smiling to myself as I was walking in the morning and enjoying fresh air. A stranger coming from the opposite direction smiled back at me and said, ’Nice to see you’. I was startled. ‘I’m sorry. Do we know each other?’ ‘No’, the stranger replied. ‘I just enjoyed your smile.’

Today this stranger is my best friend on my morning walks!